


Doc and Mharti

by Goonipers



Category: Back to the Future, Doc and Mharti (Cartoon), Rick and Morty
Genre: Implied Incest, Implied Oral Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-14 12:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15389178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goonipers/pseuds/Goonipers
Summary: Rick returns to find that Doc has kidnapped Morty thinking he's Mharti, which leads to an interdimensional time travel adventure. Based on the Doc/Mharti YouTube short by Justin Roiland, and also some of Back to the Future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: M for implied pseudo incest between Doc and Mharti, the first versions of Rick and Morty online. I saw it on YouTube. I can't quite get my head round that Rick and Morty shipping is early canon. Also M for implied oral sex because they do that in the YouTube video, and strong swearing, and some violence, because it's Rick.

Rick returned home in a rush, carrying multicoloured crystals for Beth.  
  
He stepped out of his portal and accosted a grown-up young man wearing a red waistcoat.  
  
"MoORrty! Have you been in the garage fucking with my stuff?" He drooled.  
  
The young man shook his head. "My name's Mharti and I'm looking for Doc."  
  
"What dimension are yoOU from?"  
  
"This one, sir. You look like a cleaner version of Doc." He was carrying a yellow kite with a red tail, and the string wrapped around his hand.  
  
"Cleaner? WhoOO's Doc? A Rick?"  
  
"He's a time traveller, and I have to perform oral sex on him to time travel."  
  
Rick's jaw fell open. "What? Are you related?"  
  
"He's my grandpa, but that's the only way I can protect him, sir."  
  
Rick thought it was grand to camouflage his brainwaves with Morty Waves. But oral sex...  
  
"Can you demonstrate?"  
  
"Can you time travel me back to before I lost Doc?"  
  
"No. I can portal you to wherever he went, MhHARti. Just tell me where he went."  
  
"He went... he went... that way!!!" Mharti yelled and pointed down the street to McDonalds.  
  
Rick sighed. He went into the garage and fired up a location-tracker device. He came out with its antennas up and flashing.  
  
"Have you got anything of his, Mharti?"  
  
Mharti felt inside his mouth. "Here's something of his."  
  
Rick couldn't believe him. "A pube? That'll do, Mharti." He tucked it between the two antennas in an anti-gravity lock and pressed some buttons. An arrow showed up on screen and pointed the other way from McDonalds.  
  
Mharti noticed. "But I want to go to McDonalds, sir!!" he cried.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Morty had been kidnapped by the strangest Rick he'd ever met. He knew it wasn't his from the untidy way he was dressed. His hair looked like a bunch of zigzags and he had his balls hanging out.  
  
"Rick," he managed. "You've got your balls out."  
  
"Yes, Mharti. The time travel car won't start again. You know what to do!"  
  
Time travel? This Rick had invented time-travel instead of a portal gun?  
  
"You have to go down on your knees and lick--"  
  
"No, Rick, NO! HELP!"  
  
Rick's hand clamped down on his arm. "What's wrong, Mharti? You've never said 'No' to your dear old grandpa before."  
  
They... they were from the same dimension??! And still related? He knew Ricks did horrible things to Mortys, but this was another level...  
  
"Uh, Rick, I just don't feel well today, that's all..."  
  
'Rick' steered him inside a dusty old garage where a huge beige dust sheet covered a car.  
  
Morty's eyes widened as 'Rick' felt around his balls. "Now, Mharti, now!" He pulled the dust cover from the car in one cool, swift movement, and revealed a DeLorean. He raised the passenger door upwards.    
  
"Mharti, you didn't do anything, but hop in."  
  
"No, Rick, you've lost your mind." Morty couldn't help put stare at Rick's dangly cock. This was worse than Mr Jelly Bean. No, nothing was worse than Mr Jelly Bean, he corrected himself.  
  
"Who's this 'Rick'?" said Rick, wonderingly.  
  
"What's your--your name?"  
  
"Doc Smith, and you're Mharti McDonalds. Although you've lost your waistcoat and your kite. And you look a little younger, too." He paused. "Have you been time travelling and changed time again? Because you faded last time. You know what to do!" He put a hand to his cock and tried to slap it upright. "I need a little pill."  
  
Morty watched Doc fumble in his lab coat then trouser pockets. He wondered who Mharti was.  
  
While he was distracted, Morty backed off and headed for the garage's entrance. Where he met Rick.  
  
"Rick!! I never thought I'd be so glad to see you!" He hugged his grandpa. "Take me home please."  
  
"Quiet, MoORty--" he wiped drool from his chin "--I've brought a very special someone with me."  
  
Outside, Mharti waved. "I'm Mharti," he said. And he was wearing a really old fashioned red life preserver.  
  
"Rick, Doc invented time travel not interdimen--" he began.  
  
Rick said, "I know, Morty. I've even EXperienced how for myself, but that's not important right now.  
  
"Rick, I don't--I don't understand. Doc wanted me to lick his balls to start the car."  
  
"That's how it works, Morty," said Mharti happily. "Then grandpa and me go on adventures."  
  
Morty backed off, appalled. He backed into Rick, and felt the antennas in his back. It zapped him. "RICK!! It hurts, Rick! It hurts so much!" He fell to the floor.  
  
Doc rushed over. "Mharti! Is he going to die?" he asked Rick, then noticed Mharti for the first time.  
  
Rick burst out laughing. "You've got your balls drooping out," he said. "They're even more shrivelled up than mine."  
  
Doc scowled, revealing lots of lines in his forehead. "Which year are you from?" he asked.  
  
Mharti replied, "They hop between places, Doc! He showed me one where everybody's a giant farting ass. There's one where chairs sit on people, and..."  
  
Morty rolled onto his boot and clutched his ankle. "Aowww!! Pleeease, Mharti! Help me! I've been burned."  
  
His Rick got out an injection and stabbed Morty in the ass. "Relax, Morty. We've been here before." He injected healing serum.  
  
Morty got up immediately. "Thanks, Rick," he said, rubbing his ass. "What is that?"  
  
"It's a location-finding device, Morty! That's how I tracked you to this garage! How did Mharti do it, I don't know. But I do know that's how we found you and Doc with his zipper open!!"  
  
Doc fumbled his balls. "Someone's got to start my car, and I need them licked real bad, Rick. I need them licked all the way up my butthole. Mharti can't do it any more; his saliva is weak and thin. I need it fresh! I need a new Mharti."  
  
Mharti looked glum. "But Doc! I've been travelling with you for years, and this is how you repay me??"  
  
"I needed to time travel back to before you lost your touch, Mharti. I need to go back a few years before you started dating that chick, Jennifer, who had your kids. I need to time travel back before you had that accident!"  
  
"But, Doc," Mharti whined, "we stopped all that with time travel! You helped me pass my test. You helped me keep my arm, and you stopped me from being fired!"  
  
"But I need it, Mharti. You have to think about old grandpa for once. I can't reach my own balls. God knows I've tried."  
  
"You need a transplant," suggested Rick, who had been listening. He took out his portal gun and fired it at the wall. He stepped a leg through. "This is the best hospital in the galaxy."


	2. Chapter 2

"This is AMAZING," said Doc, spinning round, his lab coat tails swirling around. His balls twirled round too. Mharti drooled.

Rick sat down. "We'll watch interdimensional cable while you two get his balls sorted out. Some new kind of tongue should do it."

Doc and Mharti went over to reception, talking excitedly. Morty sat down next to Rick.

"Grandpa, you do know they're fucking, right, Rick?"

"Yes, Morty, and what a beautiful relationship it is too. I ship them. Do you ship them?"

"Like Summer online with actors? No, Rick, I don't want them together at all. They're related, like--like us. They're another Rick and Morty. It's disgusting."

"No, MORty, it's not. They're from our dimension, said Mharti. What time, I don't know. They could be our grandpas from thirty years ago, in the eighties. What I do know is, Morty, we mustn't change time, and we mustn't change anything what they're doing."

"What are they doing, Ri-Rick? I think what they're doing is wrong."

"No, Morty it isn't. It's gloriously gay. Marriage wasn't legal back then, MoORty. You could be put into jail. There was AIDS. Everyone wanted them dead. All the Christians, all the Muslims, EVERYONE. It's a paradise to be gay now, Morty. I'm pansexual, and even I wouldn't time travel to back then, and I want to, Morty. I really want to. I like time travelling to the future, where it's even grander."

Morty took all this in. He wasn't watching TV where Ball Fondlers was dominating the screen. 

"Rick?"

"Yes, Morty?" Rick ruffled his hair. 

"Does Mom know you're pansexual and... experimented during the eighties?"

"No, Morty. That's our little secret. I had a wonderful time with Unity. And I was on other worlds in the eighties with Squanchy and Bird Person."

Morty suppressed a shudder at the thought of that threesome. He shifted uncomfortably. 

Doc and Mharti returned. Doc had a brand new tongue and was using it enthusiastically on Mhart's neck. Mharti giggled and kept slapping him away.

"Doc, you know I'm ticklish." He unzipped his flies and got his balls out. "Now it's your turn Doc to start the car."

Doc paused and unzipped his own flies. His balls fell out. One was black and one was white. Rick noticed.

"What have you done? I said I'd pay for the tongue transplant only."

"This one time travels, and this one jumps to a new dimension they talked about called the Council of Ricks. I can get a new Mharti there."

Mharti looked pale. "Doc, you can't replace me! I'm your Mharti. I gave up Jennifer for you."

Rick got up and slapped Doc on the back. "Yes, and you can get a new Diane there too, if you're really interested."

Doc shook off his arm. "No, I'm really not interested."

"I thought you weren't. You're not me. I'm pansexual. Who are you?"

Doc looked shifty. "I'm your predecessor, I know. Mharti's Morty's." He placed a finger to his lips. "It's very hush-hush, Rick."

They wandered through the portal back to Doc's parked DeLorean. The door was still raised. Mharti got in, leaned over and started the car, and punched some buttons. They beeped. 

Doc said, "Is there anywhere we can take you? The future, or back to the past?"

Rick shook his head and splattered Morty with dribble. He held up his portal gun. "I've got this, Doc."

Doc rolled over the DeLorean's bonnet, showing off his balls, and got in the other side. The car backed out and reversed down the street. Rick and Morty followed. 

The Doc waved. "We're going back to the future. Mharti's got some unfinished business there."

"I need to stop Biff," explained Mharti. "He's changed time, we think. We need to go back before he stole it."

Doc said, "He's created a whole new fucked up alternate universe future that you're in. Sorry to say. You should have never have existed."

"Don't wipe us out!!" called Rick as the car hovered in mid-air and fired up the engines. 

He got out his portal gun. "Come on, Morty. We've got to switch dimensions again before they destroy us!"

"No, Rick. What about Mom? What about Summer? We can't--we can't just leave them!! Aowww! Rick!" He grabbed Rick's arm and the portal gun misfired into the air just as the DeLorean sped up. It shot through, leaving fire trails burning in the air off the tyres.


	3. Chapter 3

"Rick, what--what just happened??"  
  
"No time to lose, Morty. They just headed back into our original dimension. I was going to jump the other way to C-136 and kill that Rick and Morty there so we can take over, baby!"  
  
"The Cronenberg one? Rick--" Morty remembered himself "--they have a flying car! That's so cool. We should get one instead of that tin garbage bin you use."  
  
"The Space Cruiser? You love that piece of shit. I hand-plated it myself. It's carried our bombs, Morty. It's carried my beer, Morty. It's carried you, you worthless piece of shit, back home from all our adventures. You do not insult my car, Morty."  
  
Rick took out a key fob and pressed it. It took a while, but the space cruiser flew through the air and settled down outside Doc's garage. Rick got in and several empty bottles tinkled out onto the pavement.  
  
Morty got in reluctantly. It stank of cheap alcohol and sweat. Rick steered them airborne and followed the fading fire trails through to the other dimension.   
  
***  
  
Doc observed shitloads of monstrous creatures shuffling around in the streets, fighting one another. It looked like they were competing for food.  
  
"Doc, this is heavy, Doc," sweated Mharti. He had his balls tucked in. Doc retracted his tongue. He felt a little off. In the wing mirror behind them, Rick and Morty gave chase.  
  
Doc accelerated to 88 miles per hour, but Rick caught up and cheerfully threw a tractor beam over the DeLorean. He began to suck them backwards. He waved at Doc.   
  
Doc flipped the bird out the window back. Rick's expression changed. He did not look pleased.   
  
Rick gave the wheel to Morty and ducked down. He returned with another device he held up to his lips. In the DeLorean, static buzzed and the radio turned on.   
  
In between blasts of 2010's music, Rick yelled, "What the hell was that for?? I thought we were friends! MoORty here--" and here Rick belched out his name "--thinks you shouldn't blow up the universe and kill all of humanity. There's worlds out there full of people who helped you like that hospital, and you're going to wreck a whole alternate universe just to preserve the original timeline?? What kind of a cunt are you?"   
  
Rick stood up and the spaceship behind tilted to one side. The tractor beam twisted them over too. Mharti fell onto Doc's lap.  
  
"I know what to do, Doc," he said, and began to lap at his balls. Interdimensional time tingled its way up Doc's spine.   
  
"Do you--" he burped again "--do you know how many worlds are out there?" Rick produced and waved a bottle. Liquid sloshed over Morty, who shook his hair.  
  
"Millions," continued Rick. "And I've been to every last one of them. Most of them are shit. Some are pretty. But most of them are out of this world, baby, and the people who live on them--I've fucked them all. EvERY species out there. Not one left. Some have three titties, some have two cocks, but all of them are sexual. It's not like the eighties. The whole universe is fucking clever and figured it out aeons ago unlike humanity, who just figured it out recently. I'll take you to ALL of them just as gay as you two are if you don't wipe us all out. What do you say?"  
  
Doc had lived a hard life, sometimes in a mental asylum, and was tempted. Mharti didn't care. He opened the door and stuck his head out.  
  
"We don't care! We have to go back to the future!"  
  
"I've been to the future on many worlds, and it's advanced, it's really advanced. Earth doesn't do much beyond the twenty-first century. They run out of oil and plastic and it's all war after that for resources."  
  
"We have to try. My life's hell in the present day, the eighties."  
  
"Mharti," Rick tried again, "I've figured it out. I looked just like Morty when I was younger, and after a certain movie came out, I too sported the life preserver look. I think I'm YOU, Mharti, when you're older. I learnt a lot from my grandpa about science before I made my portal gun."  
  
Morty's jaw dropped open. Mharti was shocked too.  
  
"Only I'm not you, too. I'm from another dimension, a fucked up one, where I had a different childhood and teen years. Your Yiff really fucked up time and space. I was adopted by the Sanchez's."  
  
"Biff. We have to go together to the future before he stole my idea. Doc, it was my idea, wasn't it?"    
  
Doc nodded. So did Rick. "Mharti, it was my idea to get rich. I needed money to research science. I was a little nerd, and I thought the sporting almanac was the best way to do it. With time travel, anything is possible!!"  
  
Mharti gasped. He almost fell out the car. Rick had hauled them with the tractor beam to just in front of his vehicle and righted them both.  
  
"Wait, Rick--I think you are me, just a very old fucked up dude who drinks a lot. Did you give up playing the guitar??"  
  
"No, never. I was playing it the other day. Why?"  
  
"And even if you're with Diana--"  
  
"Diane."  
  
"--yes, her, do you still miss Jennifer??"  
  
"Yes," said Rick as Morty gasped and covered his eyes. "But I miss Unity more. All of her. A world of her. Unity... was unique."  
  
Mharti hauled himself out of the car and stepped onto a pink Hoverboard. It was very gay and bright. He kicked his spare foot and bounced off the side of the space cruiser. Rick leaned over and let him in.   
  
Mharti hugged Rick. "Hello, older me."  
  
Rick winked at Morty. "Got him." 


	4. Chapter 4

Rick kept winking at Morty, who didn't understand it. Rick had been adopted by the Sanchez's? He had been very proud to have Hispanic in the family previously. That was before Doc and Mharti changed time. 

They had parked in a safe area away from Cronenbergs, out by a disused mine. Doc kept slapping the timber and saying, "This is nicely preserved, isn't it?" and other old stuff like that.

Morty switched on a flashlight. He shone the light away from Doc's balls as he kept licking them and Mharti held tightly onto Rick's hand. He kept asking him about music as they filled each other in with each others' wildly different lives. Mharti remembered a different past where his father was alive and his neighbourhood was different. 

"Everything's hell in the eighties," he said. 

Rick nodded. "Tell me about it, baby." He tried slipping his hand out of Mharti's grip. 

Morty gave in and sidled up to Doc. "So you're my great-great-grandpa," he said. "I don't know anything about you, sir."

"Well, my name's Doc Smith."

"I'm Morty Smith. That's a coincidence, isn't it? As Rick's off my Mom's side."

"It's nice, keeping the name in the family. What do you want to do when you grow up? Become a scientist?"

"I don't know yet, sir. I'm only fourteen. I've--I've learnt a lot from Rick, like Mharti's learnt a lot from you." Morty shone the flashlight at the ceiling. "I can't get over Rick being Mharti when he was younger. He must have changed his name, or forgotten a lot..." 

"Time probably changed," said the Doc. "I need a blackboard."

"A chalkboard."

"Whatever. Aha! Here we are!" Up ahead was a familiar shape. "Rick, it's still here!"

"Just where I remember I left it," said Rick. Morty shone the flashlight down on another beige dust sheet and some fallen timber. 

Rick hauled back the dust sheet. "Wubba-lubba-dub-dub!"

Morty remembered that it meant, 'I am in great pain.' He helped his grandpa remove the timber. 

It was another space cruiser, only rustier and patched. 

"This is my first beauty," announced Rick. He fumbled with the key fob and distantly the one outside beeped. "Not that one." He got out a keyring, and palmed through old, forgotten keys. He tried them all. 

Doc sidled up to the passenger window and tried piercing the rubber seal with a length of wire. He hooked it underneath something and the door opened. No beer bottles or beer cans fell out. The seats looked brand new and smelt musty, discovered Morty.

"Hey, Rick, what was wrong with it??"

"Nothing. Just an older version. This one, like the movie, time travels. But it got struck by lightning too many times, and I had to retire it." He went round the back and kicked the trunk. It opened. He took out a canister and refilled the tank. "It runs on gas too. I haADn't been to too many worlds back then, Morty. Just concentrated on the general science."

Doc got in and unlocked the driver's door. Morty and Mharti helped push Space Cruiser Mark 0.1v out of the mine; Rick steered. It looked brown with rust in the morning's early light. 

Morty yawned. "Rick, I've been up all night again. I need to study for a test today, otherwise all the other kids will think I'm autistic."

"Right, Morty," Rick called out the window. "Just lemme sort out the space-time continuum first. That's more important."

"Rick, it's a science test. Doc wants me to do well, so we can keep it in the family."

Rick gave him a funny look. He sighed. He beckoned Morty over and whispered in his ear. "I'm not really related to them, Morty. I'm lying. So the universe doesn't blow up out of existence. If they change time again, we don't exist. That's what's important."

Morty shivered. He'd actually believed it...

Rick caught him. "I think he needs Mharti because of the Morty Waves to protect himself. He just doesn't know it yet. I needed you before I found out about it. The Citadel of Ricks is one sick bastard."

"Rick, I keep meaning to tell you that 'sick' means something else these days..."

Mharti interrupted them, hovering around on that pink weirdo board. It looked like it was for little kids. 

"So we leave the DeLorean and your newest spaceship lying around here?"

"Yes, Mharti." Rick took the beige dust sheet and draped it over the DeLorean. He hit his regular space cruiser and it vanished. "That's temporary. No one ever comes out here."

They all piled into Mark 0.1v and Rick fired up the time travel by having Doc lick his own black ball. Interdimensional time flickered around all of them and the spaceship vanished. 

***

They arrived with a bang in the eighties. The mine was sealed up, and Rick put on the invisibility field and flew them into town. It was terrible. There were burning cars everywhere and evidence of riots. There was a big giant casino in the middle called Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise.

"Mharti," said Morty slowly, so he wouldn't get stiff. "Are you sure it's a casino?"

"Yes. I've been here before and he tried to kill me."

"Oh." Morty felt down. Rick flew them up to the roof where some goons were still hanging about, guarding. 

Rick sought another way in, round the back. Some showgirls were sitting out back, smoking and chatting, and showing off their long legs. Morty shut his eyes and thought of Jessica. 

"In here," said Rick, flying low and down. He'd found a set of double doors used for loading and unloading, and flew into a large bay. They parked near a forklift, and got out. 

Biff's people looked shocked as Rick shot tranquillizer darts into them all. They fell to the ground. Rick sheathed it again in his lab coat. He made for the elevator. "This way!!"

Mharti held Morty's hand. "He really tried to kill me," he murmured.

"Homophobic bastard," swore Morty. Mharti gave him a weird look.

"He married my Mom," he explained. "Why he adopted me and sent me to Switzerland, I don't know. There's two of me, and there's two of Doc. One's in a mental asylum."

Morty tried, "Why do you call him grandpa?" and was successful.

"He's never really had children. He says I keep him fit and young." Mharti smiled. Morty gave an inward sigh of relief. They weren't really related, and didn't need the Morty Waves as they weren't a Rick and Morty team. Why did they look so much like them, he'd never know...

The elevator rose to Biff's 27th floor. The doors opened and Rick shot down the guards. They scooted out, and Mharti nodded, "This way." He opened a double door. 

Biff was waiting for them. "Butthead, you came back! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??!"

Rick pinned him to a wall as the four of them entered. "Biff, I have something very important to tell you. But first..." He shocked everyone by shaking Biff's hand. "Thank you for making this universe. We're from its future. We wouldn't exist without you."

Biff relaxed a little and let him shake his hand.

"I'm Rick, and this is my grandson Morty. Charmed to meet you, sir."

Morty exclaimed, "He's in the history books. He bet on all the sporting events! I learnt about you at school, sir."

Doc and Mharti clutched at each other, as Rick turned the gun on them. He shot Doc in the black ball. He fell to the ground, hunched over. Mharti gasped and rushed to help him. 

"Why, Rick, why?" asked Mharti. "What have we ever done?"

"Tried to wipe out me out of existence," said Rick, narrowing his eyes. "You can't change time any more and have to stay here."

"But Rick," said Morty, "there's two of them here in time. Two Mharti's and two Doc's."

"What the fu--?" Biff hit Rick on the head. Rick staggered and shot Biff in the thigh.

Biff yelled, "You're crazy! You're all crazy! You're just another crazy Doc! And you, butthead," he thumbed at Doc himself, "are going back to the asylum. And you little son of a bitch--" he pointed at Mharti "--are going to die." 

Rick shot Biff in the other leg and kicked his weight out from underneath him. He shot Biff in the forehead, and killed him. 

Morty's eyes went wide. "Rick, you just killed Biff Tannen. The Biff Tannen. He's a multi-billionaire."

"He was a cunt," announced Rick, sheathing his gun. He picked up Biff's drink and downed it. He went over and rummaged through the drink cabinet. He made himself a cocktail in a pint glass, and floated some ice and an umbrella in it. 

"Nice place," he said. "Could live here."

Morty whimpered. "Rick, what the hell are we going to do? You've changed time. The future might not happen."

"RelAX, Morty." Rick swigged some more drink. "I'll think of something."

Doc said, "We have to go back and erase all of this. I think I know how." He clutched at his black ball, streaming blood. Mharti knelt down and tended to him, and suddenly, they both disappeared.

"Damn," said Rick, watching the space they'd left. "I should of not fallen for that."


	5. Chapter 5

Morty examined the jacuzzi. Everything was rich-looking and gold. This was how to live.

"Rick, I want to be rich when I grow up," he said. "Can you do that?"

"Morty, you have to make your own way in life. No, really, I mean it. Look at me!!" Rick was fading out of existence. So was Morty. He looked through a hand that wasn't there any more.

Rick took out his portal gun and jumped them back to the car. They got in, panic-stricken. "MORTY!! Morty, what are we going to do??!"

"Rick! Aowwww! Rick! We could--we could time travel! This car time travels by itself doesn't it? That's why you hid it?"

"It does, but it takes a lot of juice. This baby is nuclear." Rick set about hot-wiring the nuclear reactor. The wires slipped through his hands several times, but the front panel kicked in and showed Oct 26 1985. Rick reprogrammed it.

"This is what the movie said," he said, and entered: Nov 12 1955. 

"Rick? What movie? What are you talking about?" 

"There was a movie in our timeline, Morty, that showed Doc and Marty time travelling. It was called 'Back to the Future'. I don't know who made it or why, but it inspired me to do the same and dabble in science!!"

"What? How?" 

"I haven't seen the movie in decades, and I've done a lot since then." 

"So... who are Doc and Mharti?"

"Impersonators. That's why I didn't trust them. Biff was an impersonator too. Morty, I think we're in a simulation!! Everyone's actors."

"Rickkkkk..." Morty lifted the pint glass out of his hand. "That's crazy. Take a few deep breaths and stop drinking. We really time travelled to the eighties and we're fading."

Rick punched some other things into a laptop and hooked the car up to it. His hands had almost completely disappeared and so had most of his blue-gray hair. The invisibility shield conked out as the electric surge hit it, and the air flickered.

It looked a lot healthier and cleaner and old. They were in the 1950's. They were still translucent. The gaudy casino had been replaced by a courthouse with a clock tower. 

"Rick, it didn't work. We're going to fade completely. I don't want to die!!"

"There! I see them." Doc and Mharti were holding onto each other and stumbling. Rick flew the car down and opened the door. Doc looked alarmed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing??" yelled Rick. "I almost disappeared!" He spat. 

"You shot me!!" The Doc quivered. 

"You homophobic bastard," yelled Mharti. He held up a bloody hand. 

"Don't get AIDS now," said Rick. He half-smiled. Morty tried to strangle him. 

"Mharti, we're fading!!!" he screamed. "Do something."

Mharti smiled. "We went to the Council of Ricks. They were just setting up. We asked for a huge favour."

Rick snorted. "One you couldn't pay back."

Mharti scowled. "Actually, they're as pansexual as you are, Rick. They assassinated young Biff Tannen. And we--" he produced the almanac "--have got this back."

"And we're going to burn it," added the Doc. 

"Don't do that," said Morty quickly.

"Yes," said Rick, finding a way through. "We need a billionaire to run the future. That way I get enough private funding to make a portal gun. It takes longer than the Council of Ricks," he added glumly. 

Doc said slowly, "What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that you, Doc, become a billionaire and support young scientists everywhere. You can make a movie about your adventures to inspire me, a trilogy if you like, and you can sponsor our president, who's a black guy. We need him."

The Doc stroked his chin. "I'll think about it. I'll have to give the almanac to my younger self."

"We'll do it!!" said Rick, who couldn't believe his luck. 

Rick hauled Doc and Mharti into the back, and flew on Doc's directions. He landed on the roof of the garage, and they all climbed down. Doc's ball had stopped bleeding, and looked sewn up.

"For the love of Earth, put those back in!!" hissed Rick, shushing them to be quiet. They entered the house via the garage and into a cluttered living room with a chalkboard set up. 

They found Emmett Brown, up reading in an armchair. 

"Who the hell are you??" he asked, jumping to his feet.

"Relax. We're you," said Rick. "We've got something for you." He pitched over the sporting almanac. 

"No, I don't bet," he said, his eyes glazing over it. Then he re-read it. "This is from the future, so time travel is a possibility!!"

He gazed at them all. "This is against the rules, my rules of time travel."

Rick said, "We need someone to get rich quick and sponsor young budding scientists."

"And make a movie about it," added Morty. 

"An adventure story," added Mharti. He and Doc were holding hands. "Where we're together please."

"I'll... think about it," suggested Emmett Brown. And with a small clap, Rick and Morty became solid again. Doc and Mharti started to fade instead. 

Doc kissed Mharti on the lips. "It's been a pleasure working with you, Mharti."

"That's a strange name," murmured Emmett Brown, who was blushing. 

"It's been a pleasure being with you, Doc. I've enjoyed every instance of time travelling." He fondled the Doc's balls. They faded fast and vanished.

Rick punched the air and danced. "Wubba-lubba-dub-dub!! Yes! We have restored time!"

Morty cried with relief. "Look--look at me, Rick. I'm here, I'm really here, and I'm really me again." He sniffed. 

Rick yanked down his zipper and got his balls out. He swung them around. "Oh, yes, baby! We won! You won't be seeing any more ball licking around here!!"

"Do put those away please," said Emmett, shielding his eyes. 

"You won't believe what that old bastard used to get up to. And he got him to call him grandpa."

"I think I can believe it. They kissed and everything."

Rick grabbed Emmett by the shirt. "They were taking the piss out of us, I bet. They were fucking spying on us. They were actors! Actors, I tell you!!" Little bits of spit flecked Emmett. "But we got to them. They wanted to change the timeline continuum. But we need our Biff Tannen, our new new Biff Tannen, you! You'll do a much better job of it than he did. We need more science soon and fast. I can't let that Council of Ricks beat me."

Emmett brushed him off. "I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I... conduct weather experiments."

Morty grabbed Rick. "Come on, grandpa. Sorry, sir. We're just leaving. We parked on top of your garage. Sorry."

"I don't understand how you got up there."

"We're leaving, NOW." Rick let himself be hauled out the door. They paused outside, looking at the roof. They'd used the trellis on the fence to get down and it was broken now. 

Rick opened his lab coat and took out his portal gun. He shot it into the ground and fell them down into the car, backwards. Rick swore, trying to get into the driver's seat, right way round.

He pushed Morty aside, who fell into his lap and onto his free-hanging balls. "Oops, sorry, Morty." Morty scrambled off, looking unwell, and Rick did his zipper up. "Don't tell your mother. I think I need to go into your memory and do a little..." He made two clicking noises.

"Grandpa, if this is a time machine, can you go into the past and let me revise for my test? I think I missed it by now."

"Sure thING, Morty." He hit the control panel, hot-wired the car, and flew it into the air. The neighbour around them flickered, and they were in their own time and place again.

Rick parked the car in their garage. Summer was waiting for them.

"Hello, grandpa," she said. "Did you have a nice time?" Rick shook his head.

He pulled Morty after him, went up to the side panel, and took out the Morty's Mind Blowers gadget. He wiped out Morty's memory gently. Morty relaxed and gave them a light-headed smile. 

He positioned Morty on the sofa, thought for a moment, and came back with Morty's school textbooks. Then he set up a DVD from his room. 

"This is a movie back from when your Mom was a kid," said Rick. "It's called 'Back to the Future'. It stars Emmett Brown."

"Rick, I've seen it before. It stars that multi-millionaire scientist, doesn't it? We learnt about him in school. He was friended by Marty McFly."

Summer settled on the sofa to watch. "Why are we watching it, grandpa?"

"He sponsored a lot of people, Summer. Including me. I wouldn't have this baby," he patted his portal gun pocket, "without him."

Summer snuggled close to him. Rick remembered and made a mental note to switch space cruisers later. That old rust bucket needed hiding again. 

"Great, grandpa," she said. "I never knew that." Some trailers ran, but Rick skipped through them. The titles rolled to music.

Morty hummed along, looking happier. Rick slung his arms over Morty's and Summer's shoulders, glad to be home.

They settled down to watch the movie. 

THE END


End file.
